As Light Approaches: a Beyond-IFS ritual for the Winter Solstice

To follow up on the last post about Christmas (or any other “festive” time) and spending time with family, I want to share about another dimension that can help bring meaning to the holidays (and the day-to-day if you are a bit like me.)

Something I noticed when I moved away from Poland and away from my family to the UK, is that I actually missed some of the Rituals that I used to follow through the year and its holidays when growing up. Even though neither my family nor I consider ourselves religious, a lot of the rituals that I enjoyed when growing up were sourced from Christianity. From being an agnostic daughter of an atheist mum, to being a young adult in the choose-your-own-(cultural-)adventure London, to being a “grown up” (some Parts (in IFS) are raising their eyebrows about this) who got a lot of her sense of belonging through cultures and communities like the European burning man community, I feel like I have ended up with a true mix of inherited, adopted, my own, and co-created rituals. I am so grateful to have them. As a person without a specific faith even if identifying as spiritual, they feel like important keys to creating meaning and sharing it with others (which isn’t always necessary but I find it can help to ‘bind’ their meaning and make it more powerful somehow.

In this article I’ll share about and invite you to try out my favorite Winter Solstice ritual, which stems from a broader folk tradition called Rauhnachte (hat-tip to Alessandro -Alex- Pedori for introducing me to it years ago!). What I and my parts really like about it is that it happens on the Solstice, which is the day our days start to increase in their amount of light; it’s a bit folksy and includes a daily ritual which also gives an end-result of something to bring as a focus into the new year. For me it’s a way of honoring the darkest day of the year as a turning point, when the light begins its return and we stand in a liminal space between the old year and the new. Wanna find out more?

Photo by Prateek Gautam on Unsplash

To give a bit more context, the ritual stems from a tradition rooted in Germanic/Celtic year-turn rites. The original tradition’s name is Rauhnächte and it seems to stem from the words Rauch (smoke) and/or rauh/rûch (rough, hairy); its nights are marked by house-smudging, divination rituals, and lots of folk elements. To go a bit deeper into the possible etymologies (sorry not sorry but I do have word geeks in my inner realm):

• rauch (smoke) A very old custom is to walk through house, barn, and stable burning herbs or resin (juniper, mugwort, frankincense, etc.) to cleanse and protect people and animals.
• rauh/rûch (rough, wild, hairy) The nights and its meanings seem also linked to wild, furry spirits and are meant to be a way to protect from their trickster or negative influences. (I don’t particularly occupy myself with this aspect of the tradition but thought to give the context nevertheless).

Now to repeat, what I’ll describe now and invite you into is not to the full or fair depiction of Rauhnachte but a single solstice ritual that I chose to adopt for myself. You are of course free to research, find out more and adopt whatever of Rauhnachte may feel good and right for you and your parts.

The 13 Wishes: how it works

The 13 Wishes is my favourite ritual for solstice. Here’s a recipe you can use if you’d like to try it yourself. Mind you, I will also be hosting a free 1hr workshop this Saturday where I’ll guide whoever shows up in making a starter kit for the 12/13 days of the ritual - you’re welcome to join or to follow the below recipe in your own time if you’d prefer that and want to:

When: The classic version is 12 nights between Dec 24/25 and Jan 5/6 (Epiphany) while older variants start at winter solstice (around Dec 21) and run for 12-13 nights.

I personally prefer starting on the winter solstice since for my parts it’s a favourite day of the year as the light in the days starts to increase again. I like that these 12-13 days/ nights map onto the mismatch between the solar year (~365 days) and 12 lunar months (~354 days); the “extra” 11 days / 12 nights were treated as a kind of out-of-time gap where normal rules “loosen”. So these nights are somewhat “untamed”, not in the calendar, free days to clarify on your own.

How:

1. Write 13 wishes for the coming year. Make sure to do this on paper as you’ll want to be able to (safely!) burn or bury each one separately over the 12/13 days. Remember that your wishes can ‘ask for the moon’, don’t have to be ‘perfect’ etc. I like to do both the wish generation with all parts of me who want to take part and ask them to tell me their most longed for wishes. I also tend to invite my inner skeptics or parts that hold ‘you can’t wish for that, it’s too scary!’ to let the system use this as an exploration, experiment, a way of learning and listening to what is meaningful for my system. If you want to dive in deeper you can follow the sub-sections of this paragraph:Explore, and embrace the gifts of, and the seeds from, the darker moments in the past year - Which parts struggled the most this year and how come?- What were/ are their core fears, needs and longings?- What would be their wishes for the coming year?
2. Explore and build on the moments of light from the last year- Which parts of you had good/ the best times in the last year?- What lit you up? What experiences, learnings, accomplishments, relationships made the difference or brought light into your system?- What are the wishes that will help to build on, continue or create what’s needed in the coming year? What would bring even more light to you and to those parts who experienced the goodness of the last year?
3. Review & prioritize- Are there any wishes missing?- Select the 13 wishes based on what you and your parts think would bring the most light into your system in the coming year
4. Fold each wish (so you can’t see which ones are released each night or which will likely be yours to take care of) and put them in a bowl or envelope.
5. Each night of the 12 nights, starting on Winter Solstice (Dec 21st) you draw one wish without looking.
6. You (safely!) burn or bury it unopened, symbolically handing that wish over to “life/fate/the divine”. Sit for 1–2 min noticing what parts/emotions/fears/hopes come up.
7. You’ll be left with one wish on the final day. That wish becomes the one you must actively make happen! I personally like to put that wish in a special spot in my home, whether that’s an altar or some other form of display to remember to bring it to life.

Extra rituals if you want to go the ‘extra mile’:

• Incense / “smoking” the house (Räuchern): One of the oldest and most consistent customs is walking through living spaces with incense (or sage, palo santo, or what have you) to “drive away disease”, purify the spaces after the old year and to bless humans, animals, and tools for the new year
• Divination: Each of the 12 nights represents one month of the coming year; weather, events, moods, and dreams in that night are read as omens for the corresponding month. Some people apparently also use tarot or oracle cards for each night/month.

Again, this is chiefly my own IFS-informed interpretation of the 13 Wishes. If you’re curious you are welcome to research and make the most of it based on what feels right for you.

Will you join me in this Winter Solstice ritual this year? You’re welcome to respond in comments if you have any favorite rituals for the end of the year and remember you can also join me for the 1hr As Light Approaches: A Beyond-IFS Winter Solstice Ritual workshop I’ll be hosting this Saturday!